~ IN THE HANDS OF GRACE~

I yearn to cry in this instant

Only to relieve my soul

From years & years of holding back

Afraid of tears

 

I want to cry

Naked today

Only to cleanse all of my skin

The piercing wound I’ve inflicted on myself this time

In the place where I took my first breath

 

I want to shed a peaceful tear

On a terrace of hopes & dreams

At the sight of luminous mountains

Without regret

Without censor

I want to Be

 

I want to ponder on the Truth

To say I’ve loved so faithfully

Beautifully

Without self glance
and lift it all in prayer
to God’s very hands

For blessing in His own way

 

I want to pray &  shed a tear

A word that says “I AM”

An unspoken voice that runs from ties

And a heart surviving

In magical Grace

For as many days as Heaven wishes…

That I Be. 

~ * ~

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©Anaid K.C.

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~Renewal~

~I cried one last tear
before I hit the ground
I pleaded for years 
but it wasn’t around
neglecting my fears
I now stand up and shout…
“This is me…and I count”
 
~I waited a year
giving all which I vowed 
I played on death’s ears
and survived it somehow
a hummingbird on my window
sang out loud …
“Won’t you smile, won’t you smile?”
 
~I sang to that song
though it had been a while
sweet melody embracing my aches
with pure smiles
a choir of angels appeared from all sides
Saying …
“from now on your illness subsides”
 
~I swam like a mermaid
in this ocean so true
I believe it is real
with my eyes closed I do
I sing to the world 
now it has come my turn
“I will live
&
I will dance too!”
 
Org. 27092009/Delray Beach, FL
©Anaid K.C.
 

~Without A Breath~

I am going to pretend to be happy

I am going to knit away a dream

I am going to cry only on the sad scene of a movie

Only in a song

Only when it resembles

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to play each song at random

I am going to come alive just only then

I am going to write the truth on music sheets

I am going to call each tear a fiction

I am going to express a novel already written

About others like you and me

I am going to tell myself it wasn’t real

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to watch the lights blast fully

Of all colors

Of all places

Of a song

Of a familiar voice

And I am going to know to forgive

That which was unknown

I am going to do it while I survive

I am going to do it hungry on the streets

I am going to do it without you

As I beg to strangers for kindness

As I test their Christianity

As I watch them fail miserably

As I stand being the most naïve of beings

With the virtues my grandmother imprinted in me.

I am going to climb over to another life to live

All while still within this flesh and bones

Dreaming

Sleeping

Freezing

Unbelieving

All still as I awake

As you become a faint image I can’t see

Only for my dreams

Of a life long gone in fairy-tales

Of a time I never knew I was a princess

The kind that’s well trapped

Without a breath

The kind that ended yesterday

And now has been born again to LIVE

To breathe.

 ©Anaid K.C.

~ WITH PINK NAILS ~

I’ll smile tomorrow as I did today

when the day began I painted my nails pink

evading the obvious.

My skin & bones speak for themselves

they yell that I am sick,

and when I choose to shut my ears,

deep pain erodes from my core. 

And I am reminded…

until I start to pretend again

and paint my toes. 

~ * ~

©Anaid K.C. 

~05092008~