~I cried one last tear
before I hit the ground
I pleaded for years
but it wasn’t around
neglecting my fears
I now stand up and shout…
“This is me…and I count”
~I waited a year
giving all which I vowed
I played on death’s ears
and survived it somehow
a hummingbird on my window
sang out loud …
“Won’t you smile, won’t you smile?”
~I sang to that song
though it had been a while
sweet melody embracing my aches
with pure smiles
a choir of angels appeared from all sides
“from now on your illness subsides”
~I swam like a mermaid
in this ocean so true
I believe it is real
with my eyes closed I do
I sing to the world
now it has come my turn
“I will live
I will dance too!”
Org. 27092009/Delray Beach, FL
I may not have it all down here at this place
where hearts are broken
more often than not.
But when I go Home,
once it is all said and done,
I can lift my chin with humble pride
and say…“Lord, I have cried, and I have not been a perfect being but truly my heart was at the right place attempting at each moment to put You first, as not to attack or damage myself, or any others (Your children). Yet, I failed time & time again, I cried I hurt deeply. This world, our Earth, it revolves on other things, ones I rebelled to focus on. It has been isolating being the “odd one” often being “out” for being good. Still, no regrets. I will smile when I meet YOU and angels. Thank You for not letting me forget . . . You are always by my side You carry me when I cry . . . You’ll be there when I die . . . Until Eternity.” ©Anaid K.C. (org.04022008BRFL)
I cannot think of a better way to have spent my last years
If that is to be the case
I’d never felt as free … as alive
Being held strongly there in your arms
gently enough to dance with you
A multitude of fond memories I have accumulated with you
Even though at times I thought
if we were broken… “How could we be apart forever?”
We could not!
with the assumption that “forever” was a long time
I am seeing the world through different eyes
In my heart I am still me…
-the naive one-
who just once more believes whole heartedly in a miracle
One that will vanish away any illness present
as if it’d never been there at all.
And if…God’s will differs from mine
I will bow in total resignation & acceptance
somehow blessed I would honor my fate
for it is in my Lord’s hands.
I ask for Your Magical Wand
Transform my disappearance to become a swan
Convert any hatred towards me into sand
Do this with the Glory of Your Loving Hand
Make castles so gorgeous that crumble with rain
Heal all of their darkness and cure all their pain
Those souls who lack kindness
Have a blessing of peace and love sent towards them
Have many of them….
Have all eyes of envy admire our ways
Instead of the critical and judgmental craze
Let their thoughts be supportive and well wishes be born
Let their hearts be warm and with compassion form
Let their hands reach out to give and pull up those who fall
Let me be twice of this and let me be all
Which is good…. which is peaceful
Which is patient…. and Divine
Let me never forget that their souls are like mine
Let us give back a portion of all blessings we’ve received
Give opportunities to others…. they deserve we believe
Let us be patient when their progress is slow
Let them take their pace as long as they grow
Let us help them in ways that they need…. not our own
Let us aid the world for a better day
Let us do it together when at night we pray
Let me be a reminder when I smile or cry
Let this message be known through the depth of my eye.
You know the one that I am now.
You’ve seen me at my worst difficult times,
you saw my “strength” and “warrior” come out
attempt their best at life.
I don’t regret anything but I am changed.
I’m not so fragile and delicately sensitive
that’s a good thing for me.
Nor would I repeat my errors.
I will balance my wills better, and I do.
I will stand on fertile soils and not beat the concrete senseless.
I will make new mistakes and learn new lessons,
but I believe I will do so more carefully
more gently with others and myself.
I know that I hurt twice holding the toxins.
Don’t know how to knock my walls down
because I’m fond of them.
It’s safe to me
even though I’m inside with the poison!!
And it’s making me extravagantly ill!
I guess all in due time.
I need to be gentle
Protect myself through thick and thin like my life depended on it…
and it does!
All the resentments have not disappeared
they were frozen in time
and have taken over my physical body to get my attention.
My “life”, as people knew it,
was placed on “checkmate”
I won that …battle-game.
I built barriers and I still stand behind them.
When one is hurting or clouded it’s another story.
The thing with the school of life is…
just when you think you’re good and clear and got it,
you get quizzed and put in front of those whom you’d rather evade.
That’s when all info goes bananas….
If I could draw a line in the sand and say…
“As of today I start all over,
new people, new world”
then I’d be super great!
But of course it’s true…I can create my world
but I can’t run away and not face my demons.
So I have been pushing away
ignoring them all my life.
It’s what I do.
So I read this quote in a “Conversations With God”…
“Live a life that is nourishing,
taking you someplace,
by changing ANY aspect of your life that you no longer find joyful.” p.202
A new world ahead
new and better ways to be a part,
with the world and nature.
We influence a change in every person we come into contact with
and it is very simply either of love or fear.
You always have to play it by ear,
which means on the last played note,
not the songs of yesterday,
nor anticipating on the yet to be played.
I resent very much people who seemed apparently loving
but were actually never capable of loving because they were afraid of loss.
And I feel, in retrospect, like a pun in their game!
Be well with YOU
that brings out a whole other ball game.
Romantic love is only a small dividend of the whole in a woman’s life.
Give time, dedication,
love, and attention to ALL your houses of Self………..
Don’t give it a yay, nor a nay but just keep focusing.
The more you try to fight off or figure out your shadow,
the more you empower it.
It will entertain you all day
and all night if you let it…..even in your dreams.
But before “it” starts putting ideas on you
about what you may want to do to avoid it…
know that the more you go against it the more it sticks.
It will go to immeasurable lengths to be,
and to have control over you,
because it only want is to survive
women in particular arrive here too late,
or never get pass the point
or at least not until they are much older
and they miss out on living in the Light.
So be grateful to have arrived,
be grateful to be privileged
with the knowledge of the grand challenge.
How long this phase takes you
is all up to you,
but “time” is an illusion,
so more importantly is really getting it,
rather than how long it takes.
We all have a “Light” self,
I will call it that……And we all have a “shadow” self.
YOU and you only.
Lets focus on that
leave the rest for later,
as later it will take care of itself.
Life rearranges itself in relation to our inner status.
We attract, or repel, depending on our inner energy,
so looking within is crucial in any situation
even when it seems exterior.