You came & Went Too Swiftly 

Fluttering from Love

for the tiniest time

leaving a gigantic void 

as if I had met you 

I loved you so  

you were only an idea

We desired so completely 

We waited on for years

Ever since

I loved you so deeply 

Clearly seeing you in my dreams

not truly knowing you

as if I had

From somewhere 

Somehow

As if I’d known you 

Loved you before

As if welcoming you back

Expecting you

To love you once more

Again 

Ever more …

But you came & went 

Too swiftly 

Breaking my heart 

As my body bled

My soul ached

My world trembled

and only I seemed to notice 

To have notice you 

To have loved you most 

To struggle to breathe

Through my tears 

Only I  

Seemed to have felt you lived

You came and went 

Too swiftly … 

It’s only been 1 year & 7 months

Now slowly 

Too slowly

I get on with things 

I find my breath again 

As slowly 

As my body recovers 

As my world wind settles 

I breathe 

And somehow 

In a miracle 

I carry on.  

~16072017

~ IN THE HANDS OF GRACE~

I yearn to cry in this instant

Only to relieve my soul

From years & years of holding back

Afraid of tears

 

I want to cry

Naked today

Only to cleanse all of my skin

The piercing wound I’ve inflicted on myself this time

In the place where I took my first breath

 

I want to shed a peaceful tear

On a terrace of hopes & dreams

At the sight of luminous mountains

Without regret

Without censor

I want to Be

 

I want to ponder on the Truth

To say I’ve loved so faithfully

Beautifully

Without self glance
and lift it all in prayer
to God’s very hands

For blessing in His own way

 

I want to pray &  shed a tear

A word that says “I AM”

An unspoken voice that runs from ties

And a heart surviving

In magical Grace

For as many days as Heaven wishes…

That I Be. 

~ * ~

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©Anaid K.C.

27042015BOG

~Without A Breath~

I am going to pretend to be happy

I am going to knit away a dream

I am going to cry only on the sad scene of a movie

Only in a song

Only when it resembles

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to play each song at random

I am going to come alive just only then

I am going to write the truth on music sheets

I am going to call each tear a fiction

I am going to express a novel already written

About others like you and me

I am going to tell myself it wasn’t real

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to watch the lights blast fully

Of all colors

Of all places

Of a song

Of a familiar voice

And I am going to know to forgive

That which was unknown

I am going to do it while I survive

I am going to do it hungry on the streets

I am going to do it without you

As I beg to strangers for kindness

As I test their Christianity

As I watch them fail miserably

As I stand being the most naïve of beings

With the virtues my grandmother imprinted in me.

I am going to climb over to another life to live

All while still within this flesh and bones

Dreaming

Sleeping

Freezing

Unbelieving

All still as I awake

As you become a faint image I can’t see

Only for my dreams

Of a life long gone in fairy-tales

Of a time I never knew I was a princess

The kind that’s well trapped

Without a breath

The kind that ended yesterday

And now has been born again to LIVE

To breathe.

 ©Anaid K.C.