I am going to pretend to be happy

I am going to knit away a dream

I am going to cry only on the sad scene of a movie

Only in a song

Only when it resembles

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to play each song at random

I am going to come alive just only then

I am going to write the truth on music sheets

I am going to call each tear a fiction

I am going to express a novel already written

About others like you and me

I am going to tell myself it wasn’t real

How for you I could not breathe

I am going to watch the lights blast fully

Of all colors

Of all places

Of a song

Of a familiar voice

And I am going to know to forgive

That which was unknown

I am going to do it while I survive

I am going to do it hungry on the streets

I am going to do it without you

As I beg to strangers for kindness

As I test their Christianity

As I watch them fail miserably

As I stand being the most naïve of beings

With the virtues my grandmother imprinted in me.

I am going to climb over to another life to live

All while still within this flesh and bones

Dreaming

Sleeping

Freezing

Unbelieving

All still as I awake

As you become a faint image I can’t see

Only for my dreams

Of a life long gone in fairy-tales

Of a time I never knew I was a princess

The kind that’s well trapped

Without a breath

The kind that ended yesterday

And now has been born again to LIVE

To breathe.

 ©Anaid K.C.

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